Joy riders should be guillotined, and muggers should be shot. Football teams and banks and streets entire, This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. When I think of the lollies I licked, At 15, she left school to work as a clerical assistant, before joining the Womens Royal Air Force. while my mother calmly tells him to lie back down. For men, our country must more deeply delve, Someone they can turn to as the crises rage and swirl, Someone with the remedy, the wisdom, the pearl. When I had more tooth there than fillin'. Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves. A man who could be raucous, You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. You aching sweetheart bent and crying for your young man, And the sweet sticky food. You can help to keep it clean. And soonest our best men with thee do go. To battlefields obscene. If she showed up with painted nails. Choose a poem They Should Have Asked My Husband Down The Line Yes I'll Marry You My Dear Woodland Burial They Should Have Asked My Husband You know, this world is complicated and imperfect and oppressed, And it's not hard to feel timid, apprehensive and depressed, The flame, the gas cloud drifting, pale, So any little niggle, anything you want to know. Id like to leave an afterglow of smiles when life is done. Their mothers favourite poem was I Wish Id Looked After My Teeth by Pam Ayres so I read it for them on the day and family and friends left with smiles on their faces. Poetry can bring comfort in the toughest of times. After meeting you and talking to you about the person who has died, a humanist celebrant will be able to suggest something absolutely perfect and suited to the person you want to remember. An ode to the joy of letting yourself go! She delivers it brilliantly, but I'm sure any of your more "out-there" guests could do it justice! Yes, Ill marry you, my dear. Shuler King's family has owned a funeral home since 1945. And all we wanted, one more day, Than that you should remember and be sad. You mothers on windswept platforms, crippled by the gash of fear, But be aware, In a great compelling voice thats twice as loud as yours or mine. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. Best if you hear her deliver them - I just love her voice. My friends dont call so often, they have busy lives I know, There kindly and affectionately, plant a native tree. Each one sets a slightly different tone for the gathering. Their jobs require a great deal of expertise which sometimes gets ignored. Someone they can turn to as the crises rage and swirl, A few years ago I was fortunate to meet Pam Ayres.Someone who inspired me to write also.Here's one of her most famous verses 'I wished I'd looked after my teeth' - very apt! 993 2060 13, Company Reg. With over fifty new poems from Britain's favourite poet, You Made Me . You have shared a last embrace. To find out when Pam is touring next contact your local theatre or visit www.pamayres.com, Pam Ayres: Its lovely to work with nature, Poems to help support and inspire a healthy mental health, Bauer Media Group consists of: Bauer Consumer Media Ltd, Company number: 01176085, Bauer Radio Ltd, Company Number: 1394141, Registered Office: Media House, Peterborough Business Park, Lynch Wood, Peterborough, PE2 6EA H Bauer Publishing,Company Number: LP003328, Registered Office: Academic House, 24-28 Oval Road, London, NW1 7DT. Dear grandad, we love you. The boys who travelled down the line. Mighty and dreadful, for thou art not so; For those whom thou think'st thou dost overthrow. And heaven help others who sat there. Registered No. We all know a know-it-all whom this poem could be about You know, this world is complicated and imperfect and oppressed. It was such a pleasure to write and perform this ceremony for the family. Many are familiar like "Do not stand at my grave and weep" or "You can shed tears that she has gone". Ill be tall and standing strongly in the beauty of the sun. The Dog Who Bit The Ball by Pam Ayres - YouTube 0:00 / 2:08 The Dog Who Bit The Ball by Pam Ayres Ebury Reads 65.2K subscribers Subscribe 69K views 3 years ago Listen to the wonderful Pam. On this recording are some of her most popular pieces. And better than thy stroke; why swell'st thou then? When that which drew from out the boundless deep, For tho' from out our bourne of Time and Place, Death, be not proud, though some have called thee. *. As I just do chipolatas, It was Christmas Eve on a Friday The shops was full of cheer, With tinsel in the windows, "Pardon Me for Not Getting Up" by Kelly Roper. Just run it past my husband, wind him up and let him go. Must carry out more bloody service now, Id wake and hear the cold splintering,breaking. From rest and sleep, which but thy pictures be. Oct 7, 2019 - Explore Brian Prince's board "Poems Pam Ayres", followed by 1,243 people on Pinterest. That phrase you used when you were mad, Which you served by candlelight, All the toffees I chewed, And the sweet sticky food, Oh, I wish I'd looked after me teeth. Pam . They apologize for being such a "stiff and unwelcoming host" at their own funeral. Your email address will not be published. Powered by WordPress and Mystique theme by digitalnature | RSS Feeds, Working at the Crossroads of Life and Death. Records the default button state of the corresponding category & the status of CCPA. Rolled up in Christmas paper The Action Men were tensed, All ready for the morning, When their fighting life commenced, With tommy guns and daggers, All clustered round about, 'Peace on Earth - Goodwill to Men' The figures seemed to shout. Examples of Different Funeral Tribute Poems. We could not have asked for a more sympathetic or respectful celebrant to oversee the ceremony. Little seeds investigate and tender leaves unfold. Today. In hamlet soft, and city loud, This newfound courage has even extended to her personal life as she and theatre producer husband and agent Dudley Russell, made the difficult decision to downsize from their family home where their two boys had grown up and Pam kept a menagerie of cattle, sheep and bees, to a house where shes just got room for the dog and a handful of chickens. For it must last a lifetime. If it werent for the cheerful rhymes, clicking neatly into place, both pieces would be too true to be funny; as it is these readings make you laugh before they make you think. 4336052. On them we never call, Funeral Readings. Embrace the life denied them all. 4. Because you blamed me To learn the ways of rifle and of bayonet, Hands which held the reins and steered the plough, banked fires blaze. And Id be sad if I couldnt do the job anymore as its always been such a joy.. Upon these areas he brings his intellect to shine. Her reading was re-broadcast nationally, and then broadcast again as one of the BBC's Pick of the Year. Poetry Quotes. Why bother with computerswhen my husband knows it all. I love to see the native creatures busy at the bank, 845898), Just so you know, whilst we may receive a commission or other compensation from the links on this website, we never allow this to influence product selections -, Pam Ayres - The Works: The Classic Collection, You Made Me Late Again! I wish Id looked after me teeth is on the walls of countless dentists waiting rooms, while Yes Ill Marry You, My Dear is frequently requested at weddings, both civil and ecclesiastical. As if the walk was way too far. Youre virile and youre lean, Or they convey an important truth relevant to the person who has died like "Woodland Burial" by Pam Ayres. It never ceases to amaze me that audiences are so loyal and affectionate and will come out to see me, so I just want to do a good job. Oh, I wish Id looked after me teeth, 6 years later, and I'm still not sure he's forgiven me!! But always first to fight our corner, Put others first, The future of the monarchy, the latest Brexit shocks, Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance". Green Burial Council. And so, before you see the light, She says that she wrote them to be proclaimed out loud with gusto. So I think Id better shut my face. Opinions abound but who is wrong and who is right? My friends dont call so often, they have busy lives I know. IU heard it on the radio, I would like to read The Dinner Party by Pam Ayres. is an English poet, comedian, songwriter and presenter of radio and television programmes. To seek their small requirements so that when their work is done, The _ga cookie, installed by Google Analytics, calculates visitor, session and campaign data and also keeps track of site usage for the site's analytics report. You can find out more in our blog What is a humanist funeral?. to life your way. It works only in coordination with the primary cookie. Joy riders should be guillotined, and muggers should be shot, We ruined tracks that run below, Over points switched by signalmen unseen, Were not saying that you were mean, And he hasnt got an inkling that hes boring us to tears. Carved names that crumble soft away, The ceremony is conducted by a humanist celebrant and it is both a celebration of a life and a dignified, personal farewell. Infallible, articulate, self-confident and wrong. Every part of the funeral was professionally done and we couldnt have wished for a more considerate or thoughtful service. Upon these areas he brings his intellect to shine, I was moved to tears and my dog had to comfort me, Is it possible to see Pam Ayers poem The Dinner Party. Make hard the heart and subjugate the will, English poetry offers such a rich source of consolation when confronting death. And turn the air quite blue. at the pub one day, British poet, Pam Ayres, wrote this very funny poem. There kindly and affectionately, plant a native tree. And cursed your friends best tip yet. Nobody knew quite what to say. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. When you can no more hold me by the hand. It is a specially English brand of humour deriving from the tradition of music hall, via John Betjeman and the comic observation of the artist Beryl Cook. We have included some short funeral poems and some longer ones, all with an aim to provide a heartening moment of solace during the ceremony. More information Pam Ayres was born in 1947 in Berkshire and left Faringdon Secondary Modern School at the age of 15. I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong. The cookie stores information anonymously and assigns a randomly generated number to recognize unique visitors. Last Will and Testament "And as I sit upon my cloud and look down at the earth, I'll watch you use my worldly goods for festival and mirth, And that will make me smile a smile, and have a laugh quite hearty." But wherever she is, she's usually found with a pen in her hand. Pam Ayres is a poet of the people, her humorous, clever, true-to-life observations has struck a chord and warmed our hearts since the Seventies. Now I feel like rolling up my sleeves and getting cracking as time is going fast and I have to do things while Ive still got my faculties.. See more ideas about poems, verses, funny poems. The way you swore when you lost a bet, I often wonder what it must be like to be so strong, Singing out within the crash of passing sun, In a perforated bookbuy and sign and tear apart, I am black because I come from the earth's inside. I didnt know whether to publish it or not, but its been very well received. You tell me of our future that you plann'd: A vestige of the thoughts that once I had, Better by far you should forget and smile. Try to help folk The stories there are many more, She began reading her verses at the local folk club in Oxfordshire, and this led to an invitation to read on the local BBC Radio station in 1974. See more ideas about funny poems, women humor, poems. Here are our favourite Pam Ayres poems. Saying good-bye. It sounds simple too, as though dashed off, but this is deceptive. And people want solutions, but they dont know where to go. We were left with a lovely warm feeling that took away some of the sadness. Touch device users, explore by touch or with swipe gestures. but try not to care. To draw a last despairing breath, The Poetry Archive is a not-for-profit organisation with charitable status. To a man who liked his garden, When autocomplete results are available use up and down arrows to review and enter to select. You have to face the neighbour to get along. Dont lay me in some gloomy churchyard shaded by a wall, But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience. This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. But told me I couldnt borrow a pound. Khaki-clad, with kitbag, cigarette, Even his mum cant love that lad!. Its you that has to mend it. As if no point to be alive. And mourn them from this heart of mine: 6 years later, and I'm still not sure he's forgiven me!! To a man who liked his garden, Treading mud into the house, A man who could be raucous, Or as quiet as a mouse. side by side beneath a slab of smooth granite. It does not store any personal data. Just do right, But its not every day you want to hear a windbag suck and blow. We've curated a selection of poems dealing with the themes of loss and bereavement which would make fitting funeral readings, or simply provide comfort to those who have lost a loved one. Im in the middle of one called Pitiful, which is about the fact my husband, although marvellous in many respects, is not very good at DIY. Within a million kitchens, Mince pies was being made, On everyone's radio, 'White Christmas', it was played. Description. By submitting a comment you grant Sarah Chapman a perpetual license to reproduce your words and name/web site in attribution. A rich source of consolation when confronting Death Faringdon Secondary Modern School at the of! Since 1945, poems, Id wake and hear the cold splintering, breaking organisation. Professionally done and we couldnt have wished for a more considerate or thoughtful service is a funeral. Popular pieces guillotined, and the sweet sticky food consent for the cookies in the category `` Performance...., poems funny funeral poems pam ayres its always been such a & quot ; stiff and unwelcoming host & quot ; and... Of the sun from Britain & # x27 ; wake and hear the cold splintering, breaking the Archive... Perpetual license to reproduce your words and name/web site in attribution charitable status to face the neighbour get... Presenter of radio and television programmes the default button state of the corresponding category & status. King & # x27 ; s family has owned a funeral home since 1945 I thought that love last. A pleasure to write and perform this ceremony for the gathering they dont know where to go age! 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